Atelophobia

Can't say that there was anything tragic or drastic that triggered these thoughts and reflections that I currently have. Maybe there's something about it being the end of the year and finally having a bit of quiet space away from work and school. At the same time it's been AWHILE since I've done any "real" …

Holy pizza…cookie…ice cream???

For the next two weeks, I'll be traveling around the northwester area of the United States - why? Just because. Seeing different areas of the country I live in.  Tonight, I'm in Chicago. The Windy City. Home of the Chicago pizza. So, when in Chicago, do what the Chicagoans (???) do? Eat the real life, …

Hide-and-Seek

We've all played hide-and-seek as a child. Some of us better and seeking than hiding; Some of us better at hiding than seeking. The latter is where my mastery lays. This concept of hiding has been on my mind for the last few weeks, enough to pull me out of my hiatus from writing. There …

Dear Student…

To my 12-year-old student, A feeling of melancholy and concern washed over me when you asked me about the calories of the "junk food" you consumed, and if half of that would only be half the amount of calories. I replied telling you, "You don't need to worry about calories", and how, "Food is not …

“…but I’m not ‘skinny’ and ‘sick’ enough!”

People can have an eating disorder and not be stick thin! What?! #truth Throughout the course of "eating disorder history", being "skin and bones" has somehow become the image and definition of what many in society view as an eating disorder. Sadly, because of this, there are a lot of people out there who are …

It ain’t that easy…

As Coldplay expressed in their song, "The Scientist", "Nobody said it was easy..." Well, duh!? I never expected it to be that easy anyway, and IF or WHEN it feels easy, I know that I'm fooling myself. What in the world am I talking about? Well obviously, something that has to do with recovery. To …

Who decides when ENOUGH is “ENOUGH”?!

We live in a society where the feeling of "enough" has lost all connotation. There's never ENOUGH time in the day. There's never ENOUGH money. There's never ENOUGH of a good thing. We can never own ENOUGH shoes, clothing, purses... When applied to materialistic items, we're merely expressing our WANTS, and not necessarily our NEEDS. …

Labels, Identity, the Fear of Letting Go.

There seems to be a hierarchy in the world of eating disorders. For some reason, Anorexia Nervosa seems to be the "coveted" ED that people with eating disorders strive towards. Maybe restricting is seen as "self composed", while bingeing and/or purging is more "out of control"? Perhaps Anorexia has the desired results that most with …

Explosion versus Implosion – which does more harm?

I was born an introvert. I like spending time with others, but need my daily alone time. When I'm around others who are high energy, excitable, edgy, impatient and/or intense my whole body tenses up and I start chewing on the inside of my cheeks - granted, I do this out of habit as well, …

iPhone, Matryoshkas, Help, Recovery

Okay, before I start, I'm going to preface this with saying that the iPhone is just a metaphor - for what, I don't exactly know, but it can have several meanings. Interpret as you see fit... The other week, my doctor said to me, "If you don't get on board [with meal plan and weight …